TELL ME ABOUT YOUR COLONOSCOPY
Brook, I’m getting my first colonoscopy on Monday at 6 am and I’m freaking out. It’s not that I’m scared of the procedure, but of the fasting. It’s only Wednesday, and I don’t think I will make it. I’m already hungry even though I just devoured three pieces of gluten-free bread lathered in peanut butter. This already feels like torture.
According to my assistant, I can’t eat on Sunday. I can only drink liquids and milk of magnesium. I told Jason I should probably be checked into a hotel for my own protection. Maybe I can have the mini bar emptied and my phone disconnected so I don’t accidentally call room service.
I’m seeing Dr. Jennifer Bonheur, who diagnosed me with Sibo in 2018. Doing that test nearly broke me. I was allowed French bread, chicken, and eggs, and even then, I was brought to tears over how bored my stomach felt. I remember flailing on the floor in front of Jason, insisting that I wasn’t going to survive.
“Jenny, you can eat,” he reminded me, which DID NOT HELP, since my options were so limited. I remember telling him I’d rather do an all-liquid diet than sit at Le Pain Quotidien all day, stress-eating baguettes. But Brook? I’ve changed my mind. WHAT IS GONNA HAPPEN TO ME??????
Jennifer just texted me a pic of what a kiwi seed looks like inside the colon and it’s mother fucking HUGE! BROOOOOOOOK! I’m scared.
Stay tuned for more!