I'M JUST A SIMPLE SPONGE

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Jenny, I keep inexplicably having vivid dreams about Ethan Slater, who plays Boq Woodsman in Wicked. The movie (which I loved— I shook like a leaf during “Defying Gravity”) was not actually my first exposure to Ethan Slater. That would have been in 2017, when I saw him in the title role in The SpongeBob Musical on Broadway. This was notably my kids’ first Broadway show, and I enjoyed it very much except for the part when one of the ensemble members ran into the audience and tried to take a selfie with me and I started SCREAMING because I don’t like interacting with performers. (“Please,” the poor actor hissed. “It’s just a selfie, it’s part of the show.” I screamed back like a gibbon, Jenny.)

Anyway, the next day, I went to rehearsal for the musical that I was working on at the time and said “Hey, does anyone here know the guy who plays SpongeBob?”

Live feed of my subconscious

“I literally used to live with him,” Broadway legend Derek Klena replied. He was probably in a straddle-split on the floor or doing one of those other cool things actors do at rehearsal. “Why?”