ARE YOU A "GIRL'S GIRL"?

Jenny, I’ve cheated on guys (sorry!) but I personally could never fathom being the “other woman.” No hate toward any side chicks reading this, we all act out in different ways, but man-swiping is just not in my repertoire of shitty behavior. So in the relationship sense, I am definitely a girl’s girl. I have no desire to finger anyone’s property, I do not flirt with taken men, and I won’t date a friend’s ex unless ten years have elapsed. (Disclosure: I am currently in relationship with a friend’s ex, but they broke up in 2007 and in an unexpected Girl Code loophole, my friend is no longer female. This is the fun part about getting older— the plot twists!)

But to me, “girl’s girl” means more than just “I won’t steal your man.” It means preferring the company of women, and respecting women’s interests as sacred, not silly. Most of all, it means recognizing that the ~drama~ that sometimes accompanies female relationships is caused by proximity to, and interference from, the patriarchy. I have an incredible group of female friends, some of whom have been in my life for decades and these friendships have healed me. I don’t find these relationships to be high-maintenance, but high-reward. 

A loving message I sent to my all-girl group chat last week. Sarah’s sarcastic response is v. on brand for her

This is all to say that when I was young— I’m talking high school and college— I was the ultimate Guy’s Girl, a pick-me nightmare who hung out pretty much exclusively with a clique of nerdy guys who lavished me with attention because I had the lone Golden Vagina. Though it’s hard to believe in 2024, this pathetic behavior was actually rewarded by the culture back then! Being “not like other girls” was considered admirable, and girls who only hung out with guys were depicted as super cool in TV and film. This preference for male company was even praised in my own home. I remember my dad fondly saying, “You’re a lot like Mom; she’s always gotten along better with men too.” (Translation: “Your mother craves male approval, and modeled that behavior for you.”)